ouch!

February 19, 2012

 ouch!

A month ago and prior to our trip to Costa Rica, I received a wedding inquiry for a wedding in late April.  With our trip in the near future and the IVF to follow, I knew that fitting in a new couple with only a few months to plan the details could be stressful.  I was reluctant, but was willing to try.  I mean, I should take any work I can get, right?  If this does all work out for the best, there may be a few less weddings in the near future.

So I met with the couple. They seemed interested.  I walked away ready to prepare the contract.  

The following day, I received an email from the bride.  She appreciated the service that our business provided but felt there were “personality differences.”

Um, ouch.  

That hurt a little and I kind of beat myself up over it.

But here’s the thing, I felt that too.  Not that they were not a nice couple, we just were not the right fit. There really were personality differences and  I just wasn’t willing to acknowledge it.  I’m just glad the bride did. It would have been stressful fitting in another wedding so close to my IVF treatments, especially if we were not the greatest match. Not to mention, I have other wedding projects and Oscar Joe.  My calendar is pretty full.  In our IVF class, one of the greatest points they stress is “no stress.”  They even want you to have acupuncture THE day of the transfer. That and they give you a Valium.

I was thinking of all of this today as I sat in my little, sewing room.  I have an order of 22 scarves to fill before Saturday.  It is for a bride who would like to include my pieces in her gift baskets for her guests. I have never done this before and usually only for friends and family.  The funny thing is, it came to me last week! If I had the April wedding there is NO way I would have time to fit this in.   It is not stressful, I just get to sew.

On top of that and also last week, we were asked by Portland’s two top wedding magazines to cover sections for their Fall/Winter 2012 issues. What are the chances? Apparently, pretty good.

SO I am busy, but it has been an incredibly fun busy and I have not been consumed by the treatments and “what ifs.” If I did not have this distraction, I think I would be mulling over the calendar a little too much. Even now, during a quiet moment, I catch myself looking at the calendar wondering when the Retrieval and Transfer will take place. Anxiety and excitement set in. In that moment, I just want it all to be here.

I am so thankful and slightly amazed at how things work out. It is so cliche, but there really is a silver lining somewhere in that cloud. There is no doubt that I  worry about the final result of this adventure, I cannot help myself. No matter the outcome, I can only hope that I feel, at that moment, the amazement of how things work themselves out. 

love,

kara

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