a one. a two...

a one. a two. a three.

I am living the dream down here in our basement.

The kid is at school, I have tea in my coffee cup and I am answering the long list of emails that Thanksgiving so graciously allowed me to put off.

Laundry is being cleaned in the room across the hall and my kitchen oven is cleaning itself. Meanwhile, my ovaries are growing a mass number of follicles that only continue to get larger and more abundant. Things are getting done. I like to think of it as multi-tasking at its best.

Since Thanksgiving, I have been to the d

octor three times. This is normal, so do not worry…mom. During each visit, they are measuring the growth of each follicle to determine when I will be given the HCG shot (aka, the Trigger shot). At that point, this “trigger” will tell the eggs it is time to move on to bigger and better things. "One of you JUST may be a STAR,“ said in my best Ed McMahon, Star Search kind of voice. As of now, I have about 22 follicles, some larger than others. Based on their size, the retrieval will take place either Thursday or Friday.

Things really have been great, I cannot complain. Other than feeling a bit bloated as of recently, the medication has had little to no side effects. Mentally, I can’t help but think I am handling this far differently than last time. Sure, last time I was positive and hopeful and everything seemed possible. I was doing restorative yoga everyday. I had acupuncture and I was visualizing every second that I could. But I was also thinking a whole lot about the "what-ifs,” and as much as I tried to shut them out, many were negative. This time, I feel like the reality of a negative pregnancy test has grounded me. Does that make sense? I feel as if I am along for the ride, just as the subtitle to this blog has always suggested. I haven’t stopped my life for this process and I am living as normally as I was before. It has made me more present and I only look to the calendar so that I don’t make too many appointments at once. Today, I take my medication, that is as far as I get. It feels out of my hands and it is incredibly peaceful. I am grateful for that.

Now,talk to me next week, that may change (smiley face, smiley face, twinkle in my eye).

Love to you all,