look what the cat dragged in...

Well, hello there friends!

If this screen wasn’t in the way, I would give you a big hug.

I would squeeze your hand.

I may even kiss your face.

But I digress.

I want to welcome you back to my world. Thank you for coming. I would like to introduce you to my Lupron Depot and my glass of wine. Whether you choose to believe I am celebrating or somehow medicating myself well, that is up to you. I can’t quite decide. Regardless, I would like to introduce you to my “new” adventure.

As adventures usually go, I have no idea where this is going to take me. I am a little excited and a whole lot of reluctant. If I think too long about this, I feel the overwhelming urge to run and hide. But if things happen as we wish, that little bit of hope could be worth this ridiculous fear.

We have decided to move forward with another round of IVF and, as surreal as it all seems, I can’t help but be scared…again. This time, we are pros. We have done the shots, followed the calendars, prayed and prayed and prayed and dealt with a very expensive negative pregnancy test. I find myself wishing I was as naive now as I was in January, convinced it would all work. I can’t help but wonder how I will handle this all again.

I do have a bit of time. For the next three months, once per month, I will take one shot of Lupron Depot. If you recall from earlier post, the doctor found cysts on my ovaries and believes they are endometriosis. By taking these shots, it will help with lowering the activity and help the reduction of these lesions. I wish I could give you more details, but unlike my sisters and cousin, I am not the scientist of the bunch. I can tell you that a family friend who struggled with 2 failed IVF cycles was given the same shots and her third IVF was successful. Here’s to success stories.

So here we go again.

I feel like I am taking a deep breath and filling my lungs with too much air.

I am holding my breath and diving into the water.

Eyes closed.

Hoping, just hoping, if I dive deep enough, I just may find something new.

love to you all and welcome back,